I think this “thing” of being alive is going to end bad.

“ This thing of bring alive is going to end bad”.

My aunty Paula once said this sentence, that I think it is from an unknown author, of from someone she knows. It has a little bit of dark humour, since we all knows how “this”( being slive) is going to end, since the day we were born it is our only certainty. I search for birthday and deathdays of so many people, famous people mostly. Some are young, some are old, I always like to know people’s age or when they were born, or have died, and I always thing they were to young to die, even if they were more than 80 years old.

Lately, as I get old, while I know I am still young (33 is still young ok? people with 23 your time will came and faster than you want) I have know more people dying, and that is normal, shen I was ten most of people I knew were my colleagues and there aren’t many 10 years old dying. Mostly “old” people die. I have been thinking more about death and the day and time someone dies, and as a control freak of my life as I am, i think it is unfair that when I die other people will know exactly when and were and how and why I died but.. I will not know that… how unfair is that? Even people with a terminal diesease will not know, they maybe know their end is soon but i beleieve the human beeing is never 100% ready to leave this world and allways think they have a few more minutes even if they know it will be their last minuts there’s allways hope.

Maybe that’s why we say “hope is the last thing to die.”

Originally published at https://diariodeumamenteirrequieta.blogspot.com on March 2, 2021.