I got divorced despite I don’t believe in divorce or accept it

I married my then-best friend eight and a half years ago.
We promised each other that we would take off each other “until the end” (that was what we engraved in our wedding bands) and to me, the end would be the end of life. But after my parent’s divorce, I learned the hard way that we only can control our will and even that is hard.
I still believe in a relationship that lasts forever. I still believe in love, not passion, not infatuation but raw, hard love, that it’s true in hard times, in the days we don’t like our partner, in the days we are mad, sick, bored, can´t stand them, but still choose to love them, but still choose to stay, to improve and be the best for them. When it’s hard to stay, but we choose to stay, when we don’t want to stay, but we choose to.
I believe that is love, like a parent that never gives up their child, not because our parents don’t see our flaws, or love everything we do, but because they chose to love us forever.
I believe we can have a similar love for a partner. It’s a commitment, it’s not a job, it’s a person, our person, the person we chose for good.
I had dreams and goals with this person, but they were crushed, and now I have to mourn him, to mourn the end of my marriage, the life I am not going to live with this person. We have to mourn the life we thought we would be living but we aren’t and that has nothing to be with us and our will.
I love honesty, companionship, respect and loyalty, but after the last few months, I can say that honesty is the most important thing in a relationship.
I got Divorced this month.
I need to say it out loud so I can believe in it.
It’s weird not to be with this person, but I am at peace, I know what I did and who I am.
I still want and believe in love.

In January I wrote this:
2023 list:
Heal,
Love,
Always speak the truth,
Repeat.

I didn’t know what was expected of me but I already had written what I needed this year.